Some movies should not be allowed to exist. With the right source material a movie can be a wonderful experience. In the hands of idiots, an afternoon of water-boarding would be preferable. This turkey was the 50th & last film in the distinguished career of Bob Hope, and plainly he was in no ways ready to transition to the new decade.
TV personality Dan Bartlett (Hope) is having marriage problems, so he and his wife Sheila (Eva Marie Saint) go for some well-deserved time off at his Arizona ranch. Bodies start turning up in his trunk, Dan comes and goes in and out of jail more times than the Joker out of Arkham. Even given how far off the track they take the book that the basic story was stolen from, there is no excuse for the absence of laughs here. This was Bob-fekking-HOPE!!! We should be rolling in the aisles, not clenching our teeth and staring at our watches.
That this was based on a Louis L'Amor novel makes it doubly-sinful. The source material, 1966's The Broken Gun, while not a classic at least was a quick read with unexpected turns. The hero, Dan Sheridan finds a journal in a broken gun that leads to a 90-year-old mystery. The rancher and his hair-lipped killer Reese think Dan will be easy to kill, except for the one thing they hadn't counted on: Dan is no greenhorn writer. He was born and raised in Arizona, he knows the land and he is a Korean War veteran.
Reese is probably the only character from the novel who translates whole to the big screen; but even Forrest Tucker as the evil man can't save this picture.
Nominally I've been blogging on John Wayne movies, and thankfully he has only a cameo. Sheriff 'Houndtooth' Riley (Keenan Wynn) has just warned Bob Hope that "Mob rule may prevail.", although where they'd get a mob in what is practically a ghost town I'll never know. After that Bob or Dan has a waking nightmare in his jail cell wherein he is the guest at a necktie party. Everyone shows up to watch--Johnny Carson, his old movie partner Bing Crosby & Flip Wilson. Even John Wayne is out there in the crowd laughing it up and he tells Dan, "I'd like to help ya, pilgrim, but it's not my picture!" Amen to that, Duke.
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