Trump's Cabinet Posts-First Drafts

Well, the election's over, and we're screwed. That's what we all thought at first, didn't we? But to be fair, Donald Trump hasn't taken office yet, and he might surprise us with some wise discourse and prudent actions. 

Still, no man can carry the burden of President alone. He needs persons of unparalleled quality to bring this country onto the right path and render unselfish servitude service. With that in mind I propose the following individuals to fill his cabinet posts.

Ambassador to Iran:

Brian Blessed (in his guise as Prince Vultan from "Flash Gordon")

"HAHAHAHAHA! DIIIIIE!!!!"

Secretary of State:
Naturally we'll want a man who will best represent American interests while soothing our allies' jitters about the policies we must pursue. And who better represents all that America stands for than...
Harvey 'Two-Face' Dent!

Secretary of Education:
This calls for a person of extraordinary intelligence with an uncanny knack for geography. So why not, Sarah fuckin' Palin!

Attorney General:

Let's nominate Dr. Victor von Frankenstein!

Secretary of Defense:

Frank Castle, 'The Punisher'!

Supreme Court nominee: 

There will no doubt be a few vacancies opening up in coming years. As the nominee will serve for decades, this must be a man of judicious perception and a steady mind. I offer

The Green Gob--I mean, Norman Osborn!

Of course there are other posts to be filled, and perhaps we'll suggest other names in the coming apocalypse days, but we can always come back to that. Cheers for now. And God help us.

This is Halloween

Some of the horrors I've unleashed on my Deviantart page over the years. Pleasant dreams.

Link: www.mike3839.deviantart.com

To my family, I can only say, yep, he's as disturbed as he seems...

Colin Kaepernieck

By Ed Clemente Photography - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=18158956

     So T-Bo kneels and its all la-la-la-la-la. Colin Kaepernick does so in protest of police brutality and our nation's resurgent racism and its all, "SINNER! You have blasphemed our great nation! You're a traitor, boy! Repent or you shall be daaaaaamned!"
     Hmm. Right. I love how open-minded people are in this country, don't you?
     You people need to calm down--and I mean all the firebrands and the cops having a hard time understanding what this movement stands for. As I understand its a solemn protest against the rampant, almost daily shooting of African-Americans in the last few years.
     Colin Kaepernick should be applauded for the restraint he's shown by calling attention to a serious and deadly issue, with one simple gesture. We're so busy singing America's praises that we've forgot the hard road our citizens have been forced to trod to snatch even the minimum amount of equality. Eighty years had to pass before the promise of the Declaration of Independence, that 'all men are created equal', became a legal reality. And that required a bloody Civil War that demonstrated our noble ideals of freedom were clearly lacking.
     Another one hundred years had to pass before we enacted the Voting Rights Act and the Civil Rights Act to give the 13th & 14th Amendments some teeth. I've had my own disturbing moment, in Sunday School class. I was a member of the Mormon Church, now inactive, and this class was taught by a man I'd known all my life, a grown-up I'd respected growing up in the Church.He commented--and I didn't have to courage to call him out on this--was that sometimes when black people joined the church, their skin color lightened.
     Yep. These are the same people who took 112 years after the Emancipation Proclamation was issued before they offered the priesthood to church members of color. Questioning Colin Kaepernick's motives or his patriotism is only a distraction from the very real issues his protest has raised. He's rightfully challenged our cozy notions of equality and challenges us to live up to the ideals we claim to champion as Americans.
     So [1st], I thank you for taking a stand, so to speak.
     And [2nd], challenge accepted.

Wonder Woman trailer 2017

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lGoQhFb4NM&list=PLDMl54nSWUeycOBliOlsf1JBI0c85Ek9f&index=13

I'm not usually sanguine about movies taking liberties with a comic book's established backstory, but for this one, I think I'm comfortable with it. Setting Diana's origins in World War I makes better sense than WW2, if only for the fact that the First World War may be the greatest instance of hubris , arrogance and sheer obstinate, military stupidity in the history of the world. What other war could be so characterized by such a lack of vision, by every military authority repeating the same mistakes over and over, as if you're going to get different results the second or third time around?

By the way, Diana's armor looks fantastic. Looking forward to 2017.

Misogeny Inc.: The Dirtiest Rolling Stones Songs Ever

All lyrics penned by Mick Jagger/ Keith Richards, and are the sole property thereof; they are provided only for educational/ entertainment purposes

The Rolling Stones:
Mick Jagger--vocals, guitars
Keith Richards---guitar
Charlie Watts--drums
Ron Wood--guitars (since 1975)
Bill Wyman--bass (1962-1993)
Brian Jones--founder and multiple instruments (died July 3, 1969)
Mick Taylor--guitars (1969-1974)
Ian Stewart--keyboardist & co-founder of the band (July 18, 1938-died Dec. 12, 1985


   Many bands can claim to be the Greatest Rock Band ever. Few can claim that they're the most dangerous rock band in the world. It is a title the Rolling Stones have justly held for half a century. Granted, there's no shortage of dirty, dirty lyrics in the rock pantheon. Consider AC/DC's "Ballbreaker" or "Big Balls"; or Van Halen's "Black & Blue" or "Poundcake.". Or how about German metal band Accept and their 1983 hit, "Balls to the Wall"? Insert yours here--owww, no, that was not intended as a double-entendre.
   The Beatles have held onto the title of the Greatest primarily on the sheer quality of their work, but I believe it's also based on the perception that they're safe, which isn't entirely true. And if you doubt that, tell me who gave us the world's first heavy-metal song? (hint: "Helter Skelter" from The White Album) How many Drug-related songs did they do ("Doctor Robert", "Got to Get You Into My Life", whose subject was marijuana). And for pure sexism go no further than the Help LP (UK or Capitol versions, it simply doesn't matter); go listen to "Another Girl". And all of the above songs proceeded from the pen of Paul McCartney. Ha. Who's the safe band now?
   For sheer volume the Stones are kings of raunch. From their blues roots to their original content, we have been offered a rich font of sexual misdemeanors, a tradition that continues to the present date. Now, as with any such grouping, the following list is entirely subjective and left to the author's own whims and observations. So there.
   Certain criteria of course have to observed to keep this on a manageable level. In choosing the 'dirtiest songs' ever, some things are simple enough: a sexual penchant in the lyrical content, the verbal sneer with which Mick delivers his performance. Some songs that might otherwise have to be included were left out; for instance, "Sympathy for the Devil" was not considered for the simple reason that it wasn't simply sexual--it was just plain fekking evil.
   I will try not to go into a mind-numbing depth of critical analysis of each song; instead in most cases, I will allow the words to speak for/condemn themselves. And here we go, in no particular order....

--"Brown Sugar"/ "Bitch" (from Sticky Fingers, RS COC 59100, April 1971)

   The problem with most rock singers is that  they can't enunciate well. If they could, there are a lot of songs I love that I may well have been leery of. I have in my possesion a TIME magazine article dated July 17, 1972, which covers the Stones' 1971-72 U.S. tour. My grandfather handed me a few stacks of these old TIMEs in the hope of broadening my intelligence and furthering my writing career. 

   Well, this particular article coincidentally also offered up the lyrics to one of my favorite songs from my childhood, "Brown Sugar". I should have paid better attention sooner! Mick Jagger was barely coherent on vinyl singing these words. I was reading  these lyrics with not-so-naive eyes and thinking, as David Tennent's Doctor would, "What! WHAT!" My god, is that what he's been saying all these years?

Gold Coast slaveship bound for cotton fields/ Sold in a market down in New Orleans

Scarred old slaver know he's doin' all right/ Hear him whip the women just around midnight--

   I'm thinking the same thing you are: "Jesus!" Look, when you're young you don't care about the context; you just love the screaming blues guitar and the backbeat and the horny saxophone. You can barely understand what Mick's saying anyways, what do the words matter? It's only as I listened to songs later in life that I could step back and think, that's what I've been listening to all my life?

   This was the first single from the first LP on the Rolling Stones' own label. My parents bought this as a 1971 Christmas present along with John Lennon's Imagine and Three Dog Night's Golden Biscuits. I was so innocent I didn't even get what they meant by "Brown Sugar"; all I knew was that the song moved. Hanging out with my brother, I picked up on what it implied--"ohhh!"--Then things started to make sense.

   As for the other song--isn't the title bad enough? Well, you could call it a song of rejuvenation, and stimulation, and...oh, just read:

Yeah when you call my name/ I salivate like a Pavlov dog

Yeah when you lay me out/ my heart is pounding louder than a big bass drum, alright

--"Stupid Girl" (B-side of "Paint It, Black" single, from Aftermath, Decca SKL-4786, April 1966

   

   A diatribe against the vain, whiny, shallow, self-absorbed girls you find roaming the halls of Sunnydale High in Buffy the Vampire Slayer:

The way she talks about someone else/ That she don't even know herself

She's the sickest thing in the world/well look at that stupid girl

Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up etc. etc.

--"Under My Thumb" (same LP)

   Really? You need to ask? In these verses the woman is not simply objectified but abased; Fifty Shades of Grey prefigured by 50 years. My wife can't even listen to this song. Here's a clue why:

Under my thumb, the squirming dog who's just had her day

Under my thumb, she's the sweetest pet in the world..

--"Heart of Stone" (from Out of Our Heads LP, Decca SKL-4733, October 1965)

There's been so many girls that I've known

I've made so many cry, and still I wonder why

Here comes a little girl, I see her walking down the street

She's all by herself, I try to knock her off her feet

'Cause you'll never break, never break, never break, never break,

This heart of stone...

An early-career song in the blues style, reeking of defiance and sexual domination.

--"(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" (Decca single F12220, U.S., August 1965):

Yeah, you knew this had to be in here somewhere. This is how a man feels when his needs are not met, be it girls or cigarettes or annoying advertisers. But we're focused on DIRT here.

When I'n ridin' round the world/and I'm doin' this & I'm signing that

and I'm tryin' to make some girl/who tells me baby better come back later next week

'Cause you see I'm on a losing streak/ I can't get no, oh no no no

--"Star Star" (changed from "Star Fucker", from Goat's Head Soup, RS COC 59101, Sept. 1973)

This is what followed Exile on Main Street:

Honey, I missed your two tongue kisses/ Legs wrapped around me tight

If I ever get back to Fun City, girl/ I'm gonna make you scream all night

Yea, you're a star f---, star f---, star f---, star f---, star, 

Yeah, yeah, for three verses in the chorus.. Included on their 1974 tour was an inflatable, Godzilla-sized pecker accompanying the band on stage. The umm,  name was changed to "Star Star" on the label after Atlantic Records refused to distribute the LP with the original offensive title, The BBC meanwhile banned the song even after the title change.

--"She's So Cold" (from Emotional Rescue, RS COC 16015, June 1980)

Ice queen? At least in Mick's mind, there's no comparison to the subject of this little ditty:

She's so cold/ like a tombstone

When you're old, nobody will know/ that you was a beauty, a sweet sweet beauty

A sweet sweet beauty, but stone stone cold

--"Start Me Up" (from Tattoo You, RS COC 16052, October 1981)

Let's start with the record sleeve; what the F--- is that? Anyway, the last great Stones Classic began life as a cast off from Some Girls. Love (or Lust) is portrayed as a series of double entendres , trading motorcycle racing phrases for sexual references. 

You can start me up/ Kick on the starter, give it all you got

I can't compete/ with the riders in the other heats

If you rough it up/ if you like it you can slit it up, slide it up

Slide it up, slide it up...

--"Little T & A" (from the same album)

Yep, the title is exactly what it implies, another catchy riff and a surprisingly scandalous vocal by Keith Richards:

Well the sense is sensing/ that the juice keeps pumping and I know why

the bitch keeps bitching/ snitcher keeps snitching

--"Let's Spend the Night Together" (single, London 904, December 1966)

Ed Sullivan made them change the name to "Let's Spend Some Time Together" for their appearance on his show in January 1967, while some radio stations banned the song and played the B-side, "Ruby Tuesday" (in the UK of course, the B-side was the A-side--which makes total sense! Hahahahaha!) And this is one of their milder dirty songs:

Still I'll satisfy your every need/ and now I know you will satisfy me

--"Hey Negrita" (from Black and Blue, RS COC 79104, April 1976)

   This tune was born from the band's shared interest in reggae music. Of course it caused a controversy. 'Negrita' ('little black girl') was Mick's pet name for his then-wife Bianca, a Latina. But what is one to make of Mick's subsequent remarks over the song: "What, you think colored people won't like it? Well, only the most sensitive ones. It's about South Americans, that's just what you say, you know? You say, hey negrita..."

I say hey Negrita, hey now/ Move your body, move your mouth...

Flash of gold in your ears, child/ Flash of gold in your eyes

Saw the gleam in your mouth/ saw the steel in your thighs...

--"Some Girls" (from Some Girls, RS COC 39108, June 1978)

   And they keep coming...I probbaly should not repeat what Mick says about black women. It's a bragging song about all the things they give HIM, typical of the blues tradition.

White girls they're pretty funny/ sometimes they drive me mad

Black girls just wanted to get f----ed all night/ I just don't have that much jam

Chinese girls are so gentle/ they'r really such a tease

You never know quite what they're cookin'/ inside those silk sleeves

   To be fair, at least they spread the racism around; ALL women get the sexist treatment this time around, which caused no end of ruckus among feminists and civil rights groups. At least they cut it down to 4:37 minutes, instead of giving us the full 23-minute jam they started with.

"Honky Tonk Women" (single, Decca F12952, July 1969; later released on Let It Bleed, Decca SKL 5025, Dec. 1969)

   One of the shortest songs in terms of lyrics, it strikes a homer in the shortest time. Here's a country-flavored tale of an illicit night in another ratty hotel. This wouldn't be the last time prostitution fitted in a Stones' song; the same theme runs through "Hey Negrita" as well. The term 'honky tonk woman' refers to a dancing girl at a country-&-western bar, who may or may not work as a prostitute.

I met a gin-soaked bar-room queen in Memphis/ she tried to take me upstairs for a ride

She had to heave me right across my shoulder/ 'cause i just don't seem to drink you off my mind

--"Short and Curlies" (from It's Only Rock & Roll, RS COC 79109, Oct. 1974)

   Sexism in reverse; it's the man's turn to suffer. I can't say much more than that, except that this is how it starts:

Too bad she's got you by the balls/ you can't get free at all

She's got your name/ she's got your number

You're screaming/ like thunder/ and you can't get away from it all

It's too bad, she's got you by the balls...

--"Rough Justice" (from A Bigger Bang, Virgin B000A7Q27I, Sept. 2005)

   Never let it be said that age will take away from your sexism. They still have it in them to offend us all:

One time you were my baby chicken/ now you've grown into a fox

Once upon a time I was your little rooster/ but now I'm just one of your cocks

Thanks for stopping in. Hope you enjoyed this little tour of offensiveness.