Well, the election's over, and we're screwed. That's what we all thought at first, didn't we? But to be fair, Donald Trump hasn't taken office yet, and he might surprise us with some wise discourse and prudent actions.
Still, no man can carry the burden of President alone. He needs persons of unparalleled quality to bring this country onto the right path and render unselfish servitude service. With that in mind I propose the following individuals to fill his cabinet posts.
Ambassador to Iran:
Brian Blessed (in his guise as Prince Vultan from "Flash Gordon")
"HAHAHAHAHA! DIIIIIE!!!!"
Secretary of State:
Naturally we'll want a man who will best represent American interests while soothing our allies' jitters about the policies we must pursue. And who better represents all that America stands for than...
Harvey 'Two-Face' Dent!
Secretary of Education:
This calls for a person of extraordinary intelligence with an uncanny knack for geography. So why not, Sarah fuckin' Palin!
Attorney General:
Let's nominate Dr. Victor von Frankenstein!
Secretary of Defense:
Frank Castle, 'The Punisher'!
Supreme Court nominee:
There will no doubt be a few vacancies opening up in coming years. As the nominee will serve for decades, this must be a man of judicious perception and a steady mind. I offer
Of course there are other posts to be filled, and perhaps we'll suggest other names in the coming apocalypse days, but we can always come back to that. Cheers for now. And God help us.
